My Fall
by emo barbie
Summary: There are many things that may cause a relationship to go south, though most of the time it recovers....sometimes you find out that that relationship never recovers from the fall. JDox


Title: **My Fall**

Author:** Emo Barbie**

Rating: **T**

Pairings: **Perry/JD**

**Turk/Carla**

**Keith/Elliot**

Fandom: **Scrubs**

Summary: **There are many things that may cause a relationship to go south, though most of the time it recovers....sometimes you find out that that relationship never recovers from the fall.**

Disclaimer: **I, Emo Barbie, Own nothing related to scrubs...other then this fandom. Scrubs and it's characters belong to Bill and the actors that play them. Because we all know that if I were to own scrubs there would be WAY more Jdox moments and Jordan NEVER would have had any children, Perry would have NEVER gotten back with Jordan, and JD and Perry would have been together FAR SOONER!! Like in the second or third season!! **

WARNING: **This fanficiton is gay, not the fic itself of course, but the contents within is. So please, if you do not like such things, PLEASE do not read. Yes, you see that little back button up there? Yes that think that has an arrow pointing towards the left, yes, click it...QUICKLY! CLICK IT BEFORE THE IMAGES OF THIS FIC ARE BURNED INTO YOUR BRAIN AND YOU CAN NEVER RETURN TO THE INNOCENT MIND THAT YOU ONCE HAD!! {If infact...you had one to begin with...which I highly doubt} **

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Relationships:

**My Fall**

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_There are many things that may cause a relationship to go south..._

"Oh, look at that one." Turk grinned as he watched a girl walk past, her hips shaking to an unheard beat.

_Whither it's the fact that your husband keeps goggling over other girls..._

Carla narrowed her eyes on her husband, J.D. making a quick escape as he heard Turk let out a yelp, Carla having obviously backhanded him.

_Or you just can't seem to commit to it..._

"Listen Keith..." Elliot started up, J.D. glancing at her as he made a quick pass, but he paid her no more heed to the conversation it was about to embark on.

_Or..._

"Priscilla!" The loud gruff voice halted the young doctor in his tracks. "I wanna talk to you..."

_The fact that you've been trying to ignore said boyfriend for a week now, and it seems that it's really gotten onto the others nerves...._

J.D. wavered on actually turning back and heading towards the room where Dr Cox was now standing, his arms crossed across his broad chest, and a very suiting glare assorting his features; or continuing on, and making the male behind him even more hot tempered. Unfortunately for J.D. He obviously didn't have a choice in that matter, because a large hand was on his scrubs and he found himself being dragged into the empty on call room. The door was slammed shut and locked, and J.D had the opportunity to turn his eyes upon a steaming Dr Cox, his jaw clenched and his brows knitted together all holding together the fiery eyes of the older male.

"I wanna know why your ignoring me, why you haven't answered any of my pages, my phone calls, my requests, and why you have refused to come whenever I call on you, because I swear, Newbie, if I get one more of your tiny whiny little kids at my call again, I'm just gonna have to break 'um, and instead of _them _treating the patients, they get _**me, **_a doctor who's actually capable of saving the lives in this hospital and walking around with the god for saken label that they actually call a doctor, having to wait on them hand and foot, and having to take care of _them. _Because who knows what kind of bastard would actually think of handing down such a high and respected label as Doctor, to such children, is beyond me. And-"

"Are you done?" Dr Cox was taken aback, his eyes turning to look at the male before him, blinking once, twice and a third time just to make sure that he hadn't imagined anything.

"Excuse me?" Dr Cox narrowed his eyes and leaned closer to the other. "I don't believe I heard you right."

"_I said: _Are. You. Done." J.D growled out between clenched teeth.

"Why, Nancy, I see that you've decided to actually speak. Now, can you tell me exactly were that said voice of yours has been this last week?"

J.D. Narrowed his own eyes in return and gritted his teeth. He hadn't been mad at the other at first, but being dragged into an empty on-call room against his will and suddenly being scolded his ear off, wasn't exactly something that was gonna solve J.D.'s issue at the moment. "And what if I don't want to answer?" J.D growled.

"Oh, is that so? Well I mean, if you really don't want to." Dr Cox said with flick of his nose. "I guess I'll just have to force that little voice of yours to work, now won't I?" Dr Cox stepped closer, causing J.D to instantly take a step backwards as if there was some kind of force propelling him away from the angry doctor. However it seemed that no matter how far he was able to get from the other, he was still always in hitting range of Dr Cox. And before he knew what was happening he found himself pinned against the wall, his lips suddenly captured in a bruising kiss and his body surrounded by hard muscle., any hope of escaping futile while being pinned against the other, stronger...toner doctor.

J.D pushed at the other, failing again and again at escaping until finally he bit down on the tongue that had invaded his mouth, Dr Cox quickly pulling away to cover his mouth with his hand. "Damn, Newbie, what the hell is wrong with you?" Dr Cox snarled.

"With me? With me! What's wrong with you!" J.D snapped back.

"Hey! I'm not the one who's been stalking around this hospital in a tissy for the last week!" Dr Cox pointed out.

"Well, excuse me for not being overjoyed that my boyfriends kicked my out of the house so that his ex-wife and son can stay at his home!" J.D knew he shouldn't have done it but he pushed the taller doctor back, getting into his face just as he was doing so.

Dr Cox should of cared, he knew that he should have cared about the fact that he had just been pushed, but at the moment, the words that he was being thrown at where way more important then a small push given to him by some wussy girl. "What else was I supposed to do huh? She has no where else to go! And he's my son! I'm not just gonna throw them out onto the streets!"

"So instead you kick me out? Couldn't you have just allowed her to sleep on the couch or something?Or what about the guest room? Jack's sleeping in there right? So why not her!"

"She is sleeping in there."

"Then why throw me out!"

"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT MY SON AROUND SOMEONE LIKE YOU!" He had obviously gotten sick of the arguing, the fact that this was all being turned into his fault, but the moment the words left the other's mouth, he quickly resented them.

"Around someone like me? _Someone _like me!"

"J.D, I didn't mean it like that-" Dr Cox, ran a hand across his forehead.

"Then what do you mean!"

"It's just...I don't want the fact that...I don't want my son to decided things because his father chooses a certain way to live..."

"For god sakes Perry, he's only 3! It's not like he's gonna decide he's gay because he sees his father living with another man! He doesn't even know what that means!" J.D snarled. "And even so, do you think that just because you happen to have chosen a _man_ as your partner, doesn't mean that your sons gonna be gay! My father wasn't gay, and I _know _ for certain that your own father wasn't!"

"Don't bring him into this!" Dr Cox shot back, he hated talking about the drunkard, even if for something as stupid as this.

For a second J.D seemed to calm down as he ran a hand threw his hair. "I'm just saying that I think it was stupid to have thrown out your own lover because your afraid that your _3_ year old would notice something."

"Well, it may be stupid to you, but to me it matters _a lot_." Dr Cox snarled as he clenched his fists. However the sharp comeback that he had expected never came, instead he got a simple sigh of disbelief as the younger doctor shook his head.

"I'm done with this, I have patients to tend to." J.D muttered, a small feeling of pride in his chest, for once feeling like the mature one in the conversation as he pushed past the other, unlocking the door before he strolled out. All he left in his wake was a long silence and a still pissy Cox.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

_It's wrong to take out your anger on others: _

"Hey, J.D..."

_But we all do._

"Not now Carla-"

_In our own way._

J.D grabbed his chart from the nurse's outstretched hand before breezing past her and into his next patients room.

_Whether by ignoring others...Or_

"Nervous guy!"

_Simply by yelling at someone else..._

"Y-y-yes, D-d-d-r-"

" D-d-d-r c-c-c-o, just shut up and go find me my next patients chart."

"Y-yes! Right a-way!" Dough quickly scampered off to find the chart that was already clenched tightly in the older doctor's hand.

_And sometimes we even find us telling others the **exact** sort of advice that we need ourselves._

"What is wrong with you?" Elliot turned to glare at the red faced Dr Cox. Her, herself, still peeved on the fact that she had just been lectured by her own boyfriend. "So, you and J.D got into a fight." It hadn't been that Elliot had been snooping, but it was kinda hard not to over hear them when she had been standing right outside the on-call room. Not to mention when your yelling, your voice happens to carry threw a door or wall _quite _easily. "It's not _his _fault that _you_ can't commit to something. You shouldn't be ashamed that your dating a guy. It's not gonna be easy just cause you think you know him. He's not _always _gonna agree with you on everything. Love's a lot different then just having sex. It's about understanding the other and knowing that your not gonna be able to always get your way. Its not about being able to stand the other, it's about not being able to live _without_ them...so what if their a little pushy, and are always wanting your love...and trying their hardest to bring you down to their level and forcing you to tell them over and over again on how much you love them, and always telling you how much they need you...and forcing you into these awkward-"

"Barbie." Dr Cox caught the blonds attention as he snarled threw gritted teeth. "Please...next time you give advice, make sure you know _exactly_ what and _who _your talking about."

For a moment Elliot was speechless, her mouth hanging open as she tried to find something to say, however before she could, Dr Cox had already started walking away. "Oh..." He turned to stare back at her over his shoulder. "And it's not nice to listen in on other people's conversations." He glowered.

_-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-_

{Dr Cox's...inner thought...thingys...}

_There are plenty of reasons that a relationship shouldn't work out..._

Dr Cox scowled as his cellphone rang and he found the devil's name flashing on the screen. He paused before answering it with a growled: Hello.

_Like the fact that both partners are **sooo **similar that no matter how they try to work it out, their Always clashing..._

"No, I said I'd get them after my shift...._no I won't leave work just to get them now!..._What do you mean I'm being inconsiderate!...No, I don't care that you've been sitting at home watching Jack all day, so, I've been _walking _around this hospital all day _caring _to several patients!...No I didn't get into a fight with-"

_Or the fact that you feel ashamed showing the fact that your dating a guy instead of a girl..._

There was a long pause until finally Jordan changed the conversation back to the fact that she wanted him to pick up a box of KFC for her. "Yeah...don't worry I'll pick it up as soon as I can...yeah, bye."

Perry lowered his phone and stuffed it into the pocket of his white coat. He had noticed the stares he was getting from Carla, but at the moment he didn't very much care.

"Was that Jordan?" Carla raised an eyebrow and Perry gave a simple nod in return. "You know, Bambi's really upset about that-" Carla noticed as Perry clenched his jaw together.

"Yeah, well does it look like I _really_ have time to care about what a prissy little girl is throwing her little tantrum about."

Carla placed her hands on her hips as she returned the glare she was receiving from the older doctor. "Why are you so inconsiderate? Bambi's your lover, you should-"

"No." Perry cut the other off quite quickly. "He's not my lover, nor boyfriend, or _anything_ that may resemble something that has the label of _love_ attached to it. He's a...sex thing, something I have to take my stress out on when I get home at night."

It was the first time Perry had actually thought that Carla could kill him, actually pull out a gun and shot him straight in the head. However because she didn't have one, and beating him to death in the middle of the hospital was probably to troubling for her, she dealt with a simple death glare instead. "_Excuse me?_" Carla snarled, her chestraising and falling as she tried to hold back the malicious feeling that she had suddenly felt for the other. Perry kept his own mouth shut, not daring to even flick his nose at the moment. But even the silence he had given her had apparently been the wrong answer because suddenly she was going off on him in Spanish and god knows what she was saying...

_and then again, there's always the fact that your afraid of the commitment that you may cause...and so instead of labeling them as someone close, you distance yourself and call them the most derogatory name you can think of...and most times out of not...you end up getting told out by someone you should have never say anything to, to begin with. _

"You know loving someone doesn't just mean you want to be with them, it means that you don't care what people say, you're going to do whatever it takes to stay together. It's like your accepting a commitment that you're never going to run away from, and it changes your life. The thing is, it's up to you whether that change is for the better or for the worse. And if you can't make that decision, and if you can't even _admit, _to yourself that your _attracted_ and _in love _with Bambi, well then I don't think you deserve to have him at all. " Carla pushed a long delicate finger into the Perry's chest as she leaned forwards the growl into his face.

_...And sometimes you may just realize that even though you desperately want that relationship to work...you may actually just be the one ruining it. _

_-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-_

_{Back to J.D's} _

"So, Bambi...." Carla sat a small white bag in front of J.D, the doctor having taken a break for lunch, the only thing was, was that he hadn't left the break-room to actually eat yet. Luckily as he opened the bag he found himself with a slice of chocolate pie. His face lit up just the slightest as he gave Carla a small smile. "It's not really healthy, but I thought it would probably be more appetizing then the corn beef that there serving today."

"Yeah...thanks." J.D nodded as he took a bite, his smile growing ever the slightest.

"So, are you feeling a _little _better?" Carla asked hopefully.

The young doctor sighed as he closed the lid to his pie and sat it onto the table. "You know, I don't see why my relationships never work out. I mean, for once I _actually _thought that this way gonna be the one you know. I thought that I had finally found a relationship that works for me." J.D turned to stare out the window.

"Bambi, it's only a little fight, why the next thing you know Jordan will be outta there and you'll be back in his arms in no time." Carla elbowed the younger doctor with a large grin, even if she had just heard from herself what the other had said, and indeed at the moment felt that the other doctor didn't deserve to get anything like that, she wasn't about to tell J.D anything like that. He already looked to beaten down to receive any more crude or dismaying news today.

"Yeah...." J.D returned it, though his smile wasn't nearly as wide. "I guess, I'm kinda over reacting huh? I mean he's really only trying to look out for his kid." The pie was once again in the doctor's hands and he was munching away at the desert. "So.." J.D began speaking, taking a large forkful of chocolate pie. "How are you and Turk doing?"

Carla's face fell at the topic and she quickly sighed. "I don't know what to do, J.D...it's just that I feel Turk...I feel as if I'm not good enough, you know...Turk's always looking after all these other girls, and its like he doesn't even notice when _I _change for him!"

"Carla." J.D shook his head. "What do you mean not good enough? Your beautiful! You'd out charm those girls anytime." J.D was at least relieved to have received a smile from his comment. "I mean, you _are_ the women that he married. So what if a girl happens to catch his eye? You know they'll only be on his mind a second, cause after their gone, you'll be the only girl on his mind."

"But that's the thing, he's _still _looking after _other _girls!"

"So, he's a guy, that's what guys do. Even I do it, and I'm dating a _guy!_" J.D pointed out.

Carla let out a giggle as she shook her head. "Yeah, I guess so. Even a girl can catch a gay guys eye at times." Carla winked at him.

"Hey! I'm not totally gay! I've dated girls before." J.D pursed his lips in annoyance.

"Uh,huh." Carla rolled her eyes as J.D turned and dug back into his pie with glee. At least _she_ would always be there for the kid, even if his own _lover _wasn't.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

_I think I __**finally**__ figured out what love is..._

J.D had ended up talking to Carla more about his problems then hers in the end, and in truth, Carla hadn't seemed all to displeased. In fact, she had seemed quite...happy. Like it was what she had been waiting for to happen. So after another week of trying to return to normal, J.D had gotten into the habit of thinking a lot in bed...and in the end he had finally came up with his idea of what loving someone really was all about...

_Love....is something that we have to share, it's not just a one way thing. If you love someone, in order to be truly love that person, they have to love you back...because I'm the lover. It's my fate to love. If a lover isn't loved, the lover dies...so to speak. So, was it true that Perry __**really**__ loves me? Does he actually think of me the same way...?_

But then again, he just didn't want his son to grow up to become like him...he wanted his own son to make his own choices...right?

_If you feel that you aren't loved as well...would you feel as if you were ready to die...? That you..would kill yourself?_

But J.D was loved too...he was certain of it...but, it was quite strange, even though J.D had tried his hardest to return to normal with his boyfriend, it had seemed the Dr Cox was now the one avoiding _him_! J.D had barely even had a real conversation with the other. But J.D was sure that that was all gonna change, because tomorrow Jordan would be leaving, and once she was gone Dr Cox would call J.D and tell him it was all fine to come back home...and he would stop having to take up Carla's guest room again...it had seemed that the pair had actually gotten use to him not living there, and he could finally sleep in the arms of his lover...

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

_There are a lot of things in a relationship that can go wrong...but just like I was always told, when something goes wrong, somewhere along the way it will eventually go right again._

"Hey...Keith..."

_Like when you **finally** decide that you may **just** be ready for that commitment that you were always afraid of..._

"I think...I really wanna make something out of this..." Elliot squeezed her boyfriends hand as she gave him a smile.

_Or when your your lover decides that he will work on his problems, and your willing to deal with them all the same...._

"Carla, I promise...from here on out, I'll try not looking at other girls." Turk held up two fingers in a swear, his wife letting out a little aw as she smiled and leaned in to kiss him. "Oh, that one's pretty big." Carla's eyes shot open as she turned to see her husband turn his attention towards one of the passing nurse's boobs. "Turk!"

_...Even when it will take some time..._

"OW! _Woman_!"

_...but sometimes..._

J.D sighed as he stared at his phone...he was dressed in slacks and a t-shirt. His shift having ended over three hours ago. However he was certain that his boyfriends had ended almost an hour before his own, and yet still, as he stared down at his blank screen...he had yet to get a call.

_...You find that a relationship...just never recovers from that fall..._

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**It's definitely not my best work, especially since I had started writing it then stopped after a while. I hate whenever I lose my train of thought like that, it sucks T_T**

**However Reviews are LOVED!! I'm thinking about making a sequel but I don't know...I was thinking about something with a more...happier ending you know. Of course, I never make any sequels or anything if I don't get enough reviews. I feel that if I don't get reviews for it, then it must not have been good enough T_T. I really hate whenever I get over a thousand views for a story {Usually a House/Wilson} But only get 2 reviews, it makes me feel as if the story wasn't even close to good. SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!! GIVE ME SOOOOMMMEE FEED BACK!!**


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